Life as a Sister During 2011-12

Fatima (second from the right at the front) alongside the other members of the ISoc Committee.

2010-11 was a difficult year for ISoc, with apathy pervading amongst the members. The sisters appeared to have been disproportionately impacted by this, so I was intrigued to hear from Fatima Zafar (OUISoc Secretary, 2012) about what life was like for her during her first year at Oxford, and how the committee she was part of aimed to re-image ISoc for the Sisters.

Many of us will have fond memories of Freshers’ week (ISoc’s Freshers’ week that is, obviously). We were wide-eyed first years still struggling to believe we were really now members of one of the most famous institutions in the world. With the euphoria and excitement of being at Oxford also came a little apprehension. Would we really fit in here? Would we find a good group of friends? The plethora of ISoc events during Freshers’ week quickly helped to dispel those fears, as you take part in activities ranging from ice-skating to devouring a double chocolate brownie sundae at G&Ds, to having a wholesome time at Sisters’ Mocktails. Beautiful friendships are formed, which strengthen and support you during your time at Oxford and continue to blossom even after you have left.

I was thus surprised that Fatima had no stories to tell of her Freshers’ week. There was a simple reason for this. There was no Freshers’ week. “As far as I was concerned, there was no ISoc in my 1st year” Fatima told me. “There were no Freshers’ events or socials to bring me to ISoc. There was no opportunity to meet the other Muslim girls.” The difficulties faced by ISoc previously had taken their toll, and a lack of events or advertisement for the society created a cohort of freshers who had been starved of the usual opportunities to meet like-minded people and benefit from the strong sisters’ community we usually have so much pride in. It was an extremely isolating time for many of the freshers who were instead forced to turn to college events as a social outlet, but usually found these to be unwelcoming or in conflict with their faith. In Hilary Term however, ISoc was revamped and rebooted, with elections being introduced. This finally gave an opportunity for Fatima to become engaged with the Society, as she successfully ran for the role of ISoc Secretary.

As part of a newly formed committee, eager to kick-start a successful new dawn for the ISoc, Fatima was determined to help rectify the issues of the past. “Our attempt was to create a community and pass the baton on to those that came after us, so they can continue and build on our efforts.” Alongside Fariha Naeem (Sisters’ WOS) and the rest of committee, they organised several events - “just small events like eating out at Nando’s to bring people together. We’d also spend so much money at G&Ds! The socials were vital in bringing the sisters together.” This was further attested by Fariha: “If there was an idea someone had, we tried to make it happen. This included various film and mocktail nights.” Slowly, the Sisters’ community began to grow and by the end of Fatima’s time at Oxford, “a really big group of us had formed. It was such a diverse and large group. We spent so much time messing about in each other’s rooms and would go to the prayer room together. There were no cliques and there was no drama within the group. It was something I’d never seen before! We were just so happy to be together and had a great laugh!”

I’d heard rumours of an infamous event carried out by the sisters, which rivalled our renowned Sisters’ Mocktails - Sisters’ Hallaloween. “Oh dear, I remember that event now!” laughed Fatima. “It was basically a fancy-dress party at one of the grad’s houses down Cowley Road. We had a blast! It was just a bit of fun, and a chance to let your hair down. It was a one-off event, but we did mess around in each other’s room regularly. There was some controversy about it because of the Halloween aspect, but it was more just about meeting other people.”

It was uplifting to learn that despite a challenging and somewhat isolating first year following the formation of a newly elected committee, a thriving and enriching community of sisters was formed, which continues to develop and expand to the present day. Despite being absent in her first year, it’s evident that ISoc played a huge part in Fatima’s university experience, as she continues to go on holidays with the friends she made during her time here. When asked to summarise why ISoc was so important to her, Fatima responded: “It was a way to keep close to Allah, through each other.” This brought to light the fundamental purpose of our beautiful community. Friendships are not just socially significant associations, but profound religious relationships which can better us both in this world and in the akhira. Indeed ‘The believer to the believer is like a solid building, one part supporting the other’ (Sahih Bukhari). As narrated by Abu Dawud, The Prophet (PBUH) said “Among Allah’s servants are people who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but whom the prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with Allah”. The companions asked “Oh Messenger of Allah! Inform us of who they are.” The Prophet (PBUH) told them that they are people who loved each other for Allah’s sake, even without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth.” May Allah continue to bless our community and strengthen the love we have for one another, for His sake. May He continue to allow us to be a source of comfort and inspiration for each other, which ultimately brings us closer to Him.

Written by
Maryam Amer, OUISoc Alumni Officer 2020